Third Time
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love! by Dan Savage My partner and I are both AFAB nonbinary queers in our mid-30s and have been together a long time. We don’t believe lifelong monogamy is realistic. We even started our relationship practicing ethical non-monogamy, then defaulted to monogamy for many years. We now have two very young children and are planning a third in the near future. Between parenting and a longstanding libido mismatch, our sex life has been hard for years. When we do have sex, it’s good, it’s just infrequent (maybe 1-3 times per month) and logistically difficult. I’m generally content, and sex simply isn’t a high priority for me right now. Over the past several months, my partner has asked about opening our relationship again. I’ve tried to engage, while also feeling that this stage of life might be the worst possible time to experiment with our relationship structure. Recently, after a long conversation about opening up,... [ Read more ]
2026-02-18 02:10:00